NOSTALGIA- A Bittersweet longing for things, people, or situations of the past.
I have found myself these past few days spacing out and getting swept away into memories of another time and another place. They make me giggle to myself in that way I do that always makes me look crazy.
They always make me smile until I realize I don't have that anymore.
It causes an unsettling feeling that feels like my body is going up, my breath is deepening and my heart is being pulled down. Spread thin in many directions.
The feeling looks like this:
or even this because I am a huge person on memories and so a lot of time I am left longing for things the way they were or at least how I remembered them to be.
So, to everyone I have ever met, will meet, and or will leave soon I miss you and probably always will: It ties into one of my favorite spanish quotes "Aunque, no te has ido ya te echo de menos" Which in english means although you have not left yet I already miss you. :
On another note I would like to ask if I wore my makeup like this... would you guys still be my friends? My humor prevails I know.
Here is a postcard I disagree with STRONGLY!
One thing I can say is I have had the opportunity to make all the mistakes I wanted to and took every last one of them and plan to continue this route of living choice for quite sometime. I have never been one to be held back by places,people, or even myself. This postcard came from a cool ongoing art project called PostSecret check it out:
I have continued my rowdy ways and keep partying with my troopsIn the process I have realized it is not the biggest parties I have gone to where I have had the most fun or even learned the the most rather it is the small get togethers with my close group of friends where it all seems to come together:
Over the weekend I got to hang out with emily and my second family. We went tubing and unfortunately discovered we no longer bounced as high as when we were 10 years old nor did we fall off-- the fun of tubing had almost been robbed until we discovered that the salt being spat in our face made us drool uncontrollably like we had rabies:
For Memorial Day I went to my beach house and got papa bear Ralph Webb to take me and the troops out to Sanddollar Island for the day. We had some good brews, got sunburnt, found sanddollars (Paxton make sure you go home so they dont crumble you queer) and had a hell of a good time. Put tunes, sun, drinks, water, and good mates together and I can't figure out much that would go wrong:
Back to the earlier topic I would like to end by saying sometimes I feel nostalgia to a situation I am currently living. I am desperate to hold onto it so that it never goes away. I fear the end of the feeling of not belonging anywhere else; because, when that ends the search for where I belong starts again. I think I live through those few validating moments where you know that there is truly no where better you could be.
As to what I am nostalgic towards I will leave that for you to decide.