Friday, March 13, 2009

Look for me where things Melt--- Meltdown

I'm sitting now at my home? is it my home ? Lets just say I never realized how stressed I was and how near the edge I was in one of the most unhealthy ways I can imagine. After having a near panic attack on the ride home with my dad I feel like everything is falling apart piece by piece. My world is spinning out of control and I no longer know what I want or where I want to go and I feel helpless completely helpless... like a trap.  My nerves are so high strung it is a sheer miracle I have not had a nervous breakdown yet. I hope home will heal things not 
complicate them, but sitting on the couch listening to some of the more ignorant closed minded jibberish pour from my mothers mouth I realize I have gone way farther beyond this realm than I realized and I can never no matter how hard I fight go back again. I won't let myself.

"It's so cold in this house 
I can't eat, I can't sleep 
I can't sleep, I can't dream
An aversion to light
Got a fear of the ocean
Like Drinking poison, like eating glass
Like Drinking poison, like eating glass"

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